And what of Julio, JD, and Coco?

On not signing Schilling to an extension prior to the season:

"Curt's going to be 41, and at that age we get a little more conservative," Epstein said at the time. "That doesn't mean we don't want him back. We have all the confidence in the world that Curt wants to pitch in 2008, and if he pitches effectively, as I expect he will, we'll find a way to keep him in a Red Sox uniform. It doesn't make sense from a business standpoint right now to guarantee that kind of money a year in advance to a 41-year-old. Again, that doesn't change how we feel about Curt, his place in the organization.

"There's a bit of a sliding scale based on age," Epstein said. "The deeper you go into your career, I think the more hesitant the club might be to guarantee salaries years in advance."

Nine Lives

What's more amazing: nine in a row, or that Bean Me Up Scottie Proctor pitched today just to get some work in? The game itself was rather ho-hum, except for great pitching by Dandy Andy. Arizona didn't really look like a first place team, but that's how it goes.

We'll use the old joke here: the Mets managed not to lose today. Also, interesting that the Dodgers fired Eddie Murray as their hitting coach despite lighting up the Amazins' this past series. Memo to Clemens: do not do anything to wake the Mets up tomorrow, say, like drilling Paul Lo Duca. (What would he say? "I thought it was Piazza?")

Eights are Easy

Eight in a row, eight and half games back. I guess those who thought Mussina was done might have to take a little vacation. And A-ROD hit a monster shot off the facing of the upper deck in LEFT.

Mussina is an interesting character - as you probably know, he was one strike away from a perfect game, two outs away from a World Series ring, and has won 19 games twice but never 20. (Shades of Buck Showalter? Buck left the Yankees in 1995 and they won in 1996, left Arizona in 2000 and they won in 2001, and Baseball Tonight won an Emmy the year after left the show. I guess Texas isn't going to continue that streak this year.) He's been up and down in the postseason lately, but still he has a solid pitcher since 2001. And interesting how he is the only one currently on the team who was on the field for that Game 7 in Arizona, but wasn't part of the dynasty.

More good work from the Red Sox. Check out these headlines on the fan bulletin boards:

All Trade Ideas / Changing the roster
Yanks getting closer ... you worried?
move must be made and soon

I think WAIT FOR IT is the most appropriate response. Also, apparently the Red Sox have asked that Kevin Youkilis replace David Ortiz on the All-Star ballot submitted to the players, in the hopes this will boost Youkilis' chances. No word if they are trying to replace JD Drew with Wily Mo Pena, or Julio Lugo with Alex Cora. Clearly, Theo is spending his time wisely, just like his money. I suppose the Yankees should lobby for Miguel Cairo in lieu of Giambi or Mientkiewicz?

All Quiet on the Eastern Front

Back to .500, but the Red Sox held serve. El Comedulce really launched one, Cy Wang was dominant again, as was Rivera, who had both cutters working. (Anyone check out Rivera's ERA lately? Under 4). The only blemish was another scare from Kyle Dial 911, who somehow thinks it is a good idea to throw 3-2 sliders to a hitter who was consistently late on 95+ mph fastballs.

Nobody is watching the NBA Finals, but if I were the Cavs management, I would immediately sign Paxson or Kerr for the remainder of the series - nobody on that team can shoot, despite wide open looks. And the NBA better pray that Jordan is planning a 4th comeback. At this point I think just playing the NBA on NBC theme song might be better than showing the actual games.

What to Do with $100?

A Red Sox fan writes:

I have a $100 bill with a serial number DB19182004B on a NEW YORK BILL. Do you think this is newsworthy? I have tried to contact RED SOX have gotten no response.

Luckily Theo is not reading his e-mail, or else he might decide to give the benjamin to a player like Julio Lugo or JD Drew. The appropriately named Brian Cashman would send the bill directly to Roger. I assume Bobby Abreu might buy some candy bars. And we know what A-ROD would do with it.

Timlin Back in Time to Shave the Lead to 9

In the loss column, anyway. Mike Timlin emerged from the DL, and with Arizona leading 2-1 in the 8th inning, promptly threw the ball away on a sacrifice bunt attempt, leading to two more additional runs. Glad to have you back, Mike. Also kudos to the Big Unit, who apparently won't be making the trip to New York this week.

No doubt no one is happier about the reemergence of El Comedulce than A-ROD, who launched two more bombs today. And the Master Sheff absolutely destroyed the Mets this wekeend, who really have turned into the May Yankees.

It really must be a kinder, gentler Piniella. Ted Lilly was just ejected in the first inning of the game, after drilling Reneteria with a pitch - possibe retaliation for Hudson drilling Soriano yesterday. But no argument from Sweet Lou, at least so far.

Rocket Reentry

Thank goodness he finally made his first start - if I had to live through another day of "Rocket Relaunch" or "Rocket Reentry" headlines, I quite possibly might have become a Tampa Bay Devil Ray fan (what other team can have their shortstop pitch more effectively than their actual pitchers?)

The start itself was about as expected. While fond of sweets, Bobby "El Comedulce" Abreu is decidedly less fond of catching fly balls that go anywhere near the right field wall, but at least he is hitting now. Amazingly, Beam Me Up Socttie Proctor didn't pitch in the game, despite the fact Clemens went only 6 innings and Rivera was unavailable due to pitching more than one inning each of the last two days. (Speaking of Proctor, perhaps "Bean Me Up" is a more appropriate nickname? Next time I run into Youkilis, I will be sure to ask him.)

The female horse won the Belmont Stakes [insert A-ROD joke here]. If I knew anything about horse racing, I would make some further comments, but since I don't, I won't (unlike someone else we know). We might as well go all the way and plug the tennis match tomorrow - apparently the result might determine who the best player of all time is (hint: it's not Guy Forget. I bet all of you tend to forget that guy.)

Mao can handle the Mets if he ever decides to return to this blog.

Clandestine Rocket Launch

Mad Cow, who lives out of the New York market, loves his Extra Inning baseball package, except when the geniuses at MLB, FOX, ESPN, etc etc. do stupid things like today. Since it is Saturday, FOX has exclusive rights to air all the games before 7 PM EST. Even after practically begging Clemens to start last week against the Red Sox (to boost ratings), the bigwigs have decided not to cover the Yankees-Pirates today, in favor of the Mets-Tigers. Normally this would be make sense, if not for Clemens. So we now have the odd reality that ESPN covered Clemens' three minor league starts, but his major league start won't be covered nationally. Even more to the point, the game starts at 1 PM, while the Mets-Tigers game doesn't start until 3:55. I guess Jeanne Zelasko's pregame show is more important than actual baseball. Well, Mad Cow will have to settle for the radio - OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS indeed.

At least Paris Hilton isn't the culprit. (If you didn't notice yesterday, her legal "situation" was deemed more newsworthy by the cable news networks than the fact that the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs was replaced.)

Also, apparently ESPN has made the whole thing moot. You can see how the season ends here. I take it these are the same idiots who predicted a .400 OBP for JD Drew this year - sorry, I couldn't resist.

BREAKING NEWS

Wouldn't you know it, Drew hit another one, and tied Minky. OK, time to lay off this guy, before he does some real damage.

Cutters and Choppers

The Yankee Express rocks on: four in a row, 7 out of 9. Another tough no decision for Pettitte, but at least the team won, despite Melky Cabrera doing an impression of himself and giving up an inside-the-park HR. Captain clutch won the game on a little infield chopper with the bases loaded in the 10th. More good work from Rivera: two scoreless innings pitched. Yes, two innings pitched. I mean which is the bigger joke: Kyle Dial 911 or Torre's "promise" in spring training to use Rivera for only one inning?

Speaking of Rivera, there is a common misperception that he has only one pitch. Granted, he uses his famed "cutter," which breaks inside to left handed batters (and away from righties) most of the time. But he also features the reverse cutter, which has similar movement to Al Leiter's cutter. That one breaks into the righties and away from lefties. Hence, I bet Rivera would make an excellent bowler, given that he can knock down the spare no matter which side the remaining pins are on. Finally, what are the odds he has been to Doha, Qatar?

For all you Nancy Drew fans out there: JD managed to hit a homerun tonight. One more and he ties Doug Mientkiewicz, who hasn't even been playing for the last week due to a broken wrist. Any chance JD paid Mike Lowell to knock Mientkiewicz out of the game last week? (JD also trails Julio Lugo, who hit one tonight as well. Apparently these clowns are signed through the 2010 season.)

Enter Sandman...uh A-ROD?

I was planning to do a post comparing Billy Wagner and Mariano Rivera. As you may know, both closers enter to the song "Enter Sandman" - which drew the ire of the Alteregos a few years back. The thrust was going to be that what has distinguished Rivera is his ability to get multiple out saves, whereas Wagner (and others) are usually called on to pitch only one inning, and so on. It was going to be great because Wagner blew a 4 out save today, while Rivera nailed down a 5 out one. But the implosion of the White Sox bullpen, coupled with another 9th inning A-BOMB from A-ROD, turned the game into utter joke (not unlike Torre's claim in spring training that he would only use Mo for one inning) . (BTW, that's 6 9th inning HRs for A-ROD this season - I do think we will have to lay off him for a while).

Of course, Kyle 911 outdid himself this time. Handed a 4-1 lead, he surrendered a single, threw the ball away on a pickoff throw, and then gave up another hit. At least he didn't balk. WHY IS THIS GUY CONCERNED WITH THE RUNNER WITH A 3 RUN LEAD? ARE HIS GLASSES NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO SEE THE SCOREBOARD?

I guess we should mention something about the Ducks quacking their way to the Stanley Cup. But then again I think I will preempt that idea in favor of a discussion of the Belmont Stakes. Apparently a female horse is running - that should make A-ROD happy (you didn't think I was serious about laying off him?)

Public Enemy No. 1

Julio Lugo may have just surpassed Coco Crisp and JD (Back in the Lineup) Drew as least favorite Red Sox in Boston. Schilling had a no hit, no walk performance going for 8.2 IP, but Lugo made a error back in the fifth inning, and Shannon Stewart got a single in the 9th. If the next hitter managed to hit a home run, and the Red Sox had lost the game, Lugo may have had to go where ever those South American soccer players go to hide when they shoot a goal in their own net.

(Enough bashing on Crisp already. The guy made a great catch to save the no-no earlier in the game. As for Drew, 1-4 today, raising his average to .224)

P.S. I think this sums it up from the Boston fans:

How do Crisp, Drew and Lugo get into major league baseball????? Base pay then incentives may give them a boot in the a**!

BREAKING NEWS

JD Drew has materialized in the form of a pinch hit appearance in the 9th inning. He drew (no pun intended) a two out walk, but the Red Sox lost 3-2.

Bad Endy

Ineffective offense, horrendous relief pitching, and a rash of injuries. It's the Yankees...it's the White Sox...it's the Mets. After a string of miracle wins, the Mets have suddenly lost two of three to Arizona and the first two to Philadelphia. Aaron Heilman did his best Kyle Dial 911 Farnsworth impression, and Endy Catch-It-I-Can Chavez went down with a hamstring injury. Time to fire the conditioning coach?

(How good is El Duque? Good enough to have his own dance [old school, but still a classic]. I think it's perfectly clear why The American Idle doesn't have his own dance. And we know what kind of dances A-ROD enjoys.)

We'll lay off the Yanks for one day, thanks to Cy Wang.

Still no sign of JD Drew (Wily is getting Mo Pena-time). No sign of Chairman Mao, either, for that matter.

Oh, there's panic in Beantown

The Red Sox have lost five out of six, the lead is down to 11.5, and you can sense it. JD and Coco seem to be taking the brunt of it. Granted, we've been hard on JD here, but Coco seem like an OK guy, and has annoyed the Yankees this year. But the real stunning quote comes from Dice-K:

"The Red Sox are a team that doesn't lose many games often," Matsuzaka said. "I felt a sense of urgency to stop the losing skid."

I guess the Boston Massacre II wasn't televised in Japan?

(Hey, let me have my fun for one day.)

Won One for the Clippard

Finally, a solid win - solid hitting, solid start pitching, and while Kyle Dial 911 and the Sultan of Bruney made it a little interesting, Rivera shut the door. A bit of a quick hook for the Clippard (5 innings, 89 pitches), which led to two innings for Beam Me Up Scottie. (I wonder what happens more frequently: Proctor pitches in a game for the Yankees, or Kirk says "Beam Me Up" in a Star Trek Episode?) Also props for the Egyptian one: after not playing in weeks, Cairo had an RBI single and made several plays in the field that Josh Phelps would probably have screwed up.

Interesting note on the Abreu-Dye trade rumor. Apparently this is a case where the media can cause something to happen, rather than just report on it. Cashman must have been overjoyed when reading his Chicago newspaper, which first floated the idea, as he promptly called the White Sox GM to see whether there was really an interest in such a trade. Predictably, the answer was no. (Any chance this was a practical joke either by the Chicago paper or the White Sox to see how fast Cashman could press the speed dial button? If so, it worked.)

Back to the Drewing Board: In case you were asleep last night, Francona pinch hit for the $70 million man in the 9th inning with Varitek, who delivered a pinch hit single. JD hasn't been seen to date in tonight's game, either.

We've Seen This Movie Before

When they pitch, they don't hit. When they hit, they don't pitch. When they hit and pitch, they don't play defense. Well, tonight they managed not to pitch, hit, or play defense. And, ironically enough, the only team they can seem to beat, other than the hapless Texas Rangers, is the Boston Red Sox.

Tonight's culprit was clearly Josh Phelps, who is not long for this team, at least not as an everyday fill in for the injured Doug Mientkiewicz. Phelps is so bad that I have to stop referring to Mientkiewicz as Me-I-stink-o-witz. In addition to throwing the ball into centerfield on a potential double play ball, he grounded into two double plays that killed potential rallies. He can't field, period. Even Giambi was better. I really don't understand why Andy Phillips is not on this team - the guy can play first, not as well as Mientkiewicz, but he can hit a little better. If you were willing to live with Mientkiewicz's low batting average for his glove, why not the same with Phillips? The most notable thing that Phelps has done is level Seattle catcher Kenji Johijma for no apparent reason. Well, at least that did lead to four days off for Proctor (who, incidentally, didn't pitch yesterday or today. That must be a record).

Minor point: A-ROD needs to work on the 5-5-3 double play, which he botched tonight as well as last week in Toronto.

24-31. That means they have to go 15-8 just to get to 39-39, which is where they were on July 1st in 2005. The scarier part is that the 2005 team went 56-28 the rest of the way, to finish with 95 wins. Does anyone sense that is going to happen here? Remember also that Shawn Chacon and Aaron Small went a remarkable 17-3 in 2005, and to my knowledge neither one suffered from a fatigued groin.

Everything Exactly Backwards

I admit, I thought it was over when Pettitte was taken out - not just the game, but the season. For a few hours there, it seemed liked Pettitte was seriously injured, but apparently it was just some stiffness in his back, and he says he will be ready for his next start.

Starting from the bottom of the 7th inning, the game proceeded in exactly the opposite fashion from the rest of the season to date. Farnsworth managed to retire the side without giving up a run (apparently Ortiz has never got a hit off him - go figure). The Yankees tied the game off Hideki-Everything-Will-Be-Ok-ajima, after being completely baffled by him in previous outings. Abreu actually caught one in RF to keep the game tied in the bottom of the 8th. Then, improbably, A-ROD of all people hits an A-BOMB off Papelbon of all people to take the lead. Finally, Rivera records a save against the Red Sox - and retires Ortiz, Ramirez, and the new Yankee killer Lowell to end it. Turning point? I wouldn't bet on it, but at least the season was saved for another day.

(One aside: The crowd was chanting "Where is Roger?" the last two days. Personally, I think a "Where is JD Drew?" chant is order. He was taken out of Friday night's game, presumably with an injury, and wasn't seen since. $70 million well spent).

One Step Back

If you had been on vacation for April and May somewhere without access to baseball, and froze your television set at the beginning of the bottom of the 7th inning today, you might well have assumed that Boston was the team that was 13.5 games behind in the standings. After Wakefield imploded last night, the Yankees managed to knock out Schilling and survive another 5 run, 5 inning performance from Mussina. They had a one run lead and needed nine outs, with a Hall of Fame closer ready to get at least three of them, but of course, not with this team, not this year.

The seeds were actually planted in yesterday's game, and some of the blame has to rest on the manager. Granted, Torre was ejected yesterday, so it may have been Mattingly actually handling the bullpen, but regardless, I doubt the strategy would have been any different. I have no idea while Kyle Farnsworth and Scott Proctor needed to pitch the 8th and 9th innings, respectively, of a game in which the Yankees had a 6 run lead. If Vizcaino and Villone can't get six outs with a six run lead, they shouldn't be on the team. And Proctor drilling Youkilis last night not only forced Rivera into the game, but probably contributed to the meltdown in the 7th today.

Proctor did his job in the 6th, after Mussina gave up the lead, and that should have been it. The whole purpose of having Mike Myers on this team is to get Ortiz out, and if Torre doesn't have confidence in him to get him out with nobody on base, Myers has to be released. Instead, Proctor was brought out for a second inning, after seemingly pitching in every game this year save the four in which he was suspended. Granted, the defense was horrendous - Abreu can't go near a wall, Cano made another careless feed to Jeter, and Jeter himself made two errors. But Proctor should not have been out there. And certainly not after he intentionally walked Ramirez (after Ortiz doubled) - having him face Youkilis again was just asking for trouble. It should have gone Myers-Bruney-Farnsworth-Rivera. Farnsworth may not have been available, which is maybe why Torre left Proctor in (with Bruney pitching the 8th), but that's only because he pitched yesterday in a meaningless situation. Of course, Farnsworth easily could have blown it, but at least you go with the plan you drew up, rather than continuing to throw Proctor to the wolves. It has to stop, or this team is beyond dead. If confidence is gone in the other relievers, you have to get rid of them. Mussina is at best a 6 inning pitcher, and even if Clemens materializes that is the most you are going to see from him, and probably form Clippard as well. Nine outs from the bullpen three out of every five days is going to require more than Proctor and Rivera. The bullpen must be fixed, and right now. Torre is a great manager (just look at what is going on in Chicago if you want Piniella instead), but this Proctor fixation must end.

Free Agent Signings

A few posts ago, I chronicled the Yankee pitching disasters of late. Thinking about it, though, it seems like almost all of the Yankee free agent signings since 2001 haven't really worked out, and a good number have been downright terrible. In the plus column, I would list Mussina and Matsui. Mussina has had his ups and downs in the postseason, but he won that 1-0 game against Oakland in '01, and pitched three critical innings in relief in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. And while Matsui has been spotty so far this year, and was hurt most of last, he certainly earned his reputation as a clutch hitter.

In the utter disaster column: Jaret Wright, Carl Pavano, Kei Igawa (did you see his line from AAA the other day? 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 H, and one balk), Kyle Dial 911 Farnsworth. (I really don't think it's that harsh to lump Farnsworth in with the other three - I mean this guy has only had two 1-2-3 innings this entire year, he can't pitch on back to back days, and can't pitch more than one inning. Not really good for the primary setup man).

The other ones: Giambi has been a distraction, missed most of 2004, and is on the DL again. Granted, he has had his moments - most notably two homeruns off Pedro in Game 7 of the ALCS - but I don't think anyone can claim he was worth anything close to the enormous contract he signed. Damon was great last year, but even Torre couldn't say that he will be able to play centerfield for the remaining two years of his contract - so they are essentially back to where they started in CF. Sheffield helped the team, but his attitude was too much to handle (though I'm sure many Yankee fans would take him back in a heartbeat right now), and he was pretty quiet in the postseason. Tom Gordon was decent in the regular season, but melted down big time in the 2004 ALCS.

So much for the Type I errors (obviously I have focused just on free agents, and not trades - if you are looking for a really disastrous sequence, consider Ted Lilly for Jeff Weaver, and in turn, Jeff Weaver for Kevin Brown). It appears there a few Type II errors also - Beltran and Guerrero come to mind. (In his book, Buster Olney writes that Cashman tried to sign Guerrero instead of Sheffield, but was overruled by Steinbrenner). Cashman was smart enough to more or less stand pat from '98-'00 (save a few important midseason acquisitions, like David Justice), but really the record since then has been really pretty bad. It's hard to know how much is Cashman and how much Steinbrenner (or his other "advisors"), but it's a moot point now. As Steinbrenner says, Cashman is on the "big hook."

The Un-Jeter

The more I watch A-ROD, the more he seems like a character out of a Greek tragedy. Just like those poor souls try to avoid their fate, so too does A-ROD try to be more like Jeter. And the harder he tries, the less like Jeter he becomes.

Today was not a good day for the Yankee third baseman. He woke up to photographs of him and an unidentified blonde woman (not his wife and not Mariah Carey) on the front page of the New York Post. Then, just as the Yankees were finally about to a put a good win of their own in the books, A-ROD again left himself open to charges of unsportsman-like conduct. Jorge Posada hit a high pop to the Blue Jays' third baseman, and A-ROD was rounding the bases with two outs. As he approached third, he yelled something, and the ball dropped. The Blue Jays' insist he yelled "mine" in an attempt to fake out their player; in the post-game presser, A-ROD claimed he had just yelled "Ha!," because he was excited. In any case, nobody thought it was an appropriate play, even if it led to more Yankee runs. And this comes on top of the glove-slapping incident with Bronson Arroyo in Game 6 of the ALCS and then the elbow to Dustin Pedroia trying to break up a double play against Boston last week.

The play tonight reminded me of something Jeter did a few years ago - something very similar to what Reyes did yesterday. While on third, Jeter danced off third, waving his arms wildly, and the Yankees either tied the game or won the game as the pitcher balked. One can only think A-ROD intended to do something similar - do something extraordinary to win a game. Except the more he tries, the more desperate he looks. Jeter is celebrated; A-ROD is despised. It seems it will always be this way.

The Twilight Zone

A baseball team in New York, filled with a mix of veterans and young players, win an extra inning game in improbable fashion off a reviled closer. For seven innings, the New York pitcher matches the young ace in waiting of the other team. Reliever after reliever keeps the game tied, until the other team scores a run in the 12th. While other teams would go quietly into the night, this New York team finds a way to win. The phenom shortstop draws a leadoff walk. Then the closer balks. A sacrifice bunt, and the shortstop reaches third. After a groundout, the shortstop creates havoc on the bases, and unbelievably, the closer balks again. Game tied. The veteran lefty first baseman launches one. Game over, put it in the books.

Unfortunately for Yankee fans, the shortstop isn't Jeter; the first baseman isn't Tino; the stadium isn't in the Bronx; the channel isn't YES. These were the games they used to win, and now the team from the other side of town is the one that wins them.

Proctor & Gamble

Another day, another meltdown. Today's culprit: Scott Proctor, who was unable to hold a 2-1 lead. After relieving Mussina in the 7th with one out and a runner at first, Proctor promptly surrended a double and then walked three consecutive batters, forcing in two runs. Proctor was booed off the mound, and Torre in turn was booed off the field when he summoned Bruney. Mussina had only 95 pitches when he exited, so naturally the question on everyone's mind was why did Torre take him out. In Torre's defense, Mussina has a tendency to lose it fairly quickly, and the Yankees finally had a lead to turn over to the bullpen. On the other hand, Torre is clearly obsessed with Proctor, as he was with Quantrill, Gordon, and Sturtze in seasons past. Given the other choices (Kyle Dial 911 comes to mind), I can't say I blame him for relying on Proctor so much, but clearly he cannot continue to pitch in every game, and you have to expect a debacle every so often. The problem is the Yankees can't afford to lose late leads given their record, and Torre can't afford to keep having his moves questioned. Personally, I would have let Mussina have one more batter.

Given that Igawa is clearly a lost cause, perhaps it is time to send Carmen Sandiego looking for the Yankees' offense instead. The fact that Will Nieves drove in two of the three Yankee runs would be comical if it weren't so tragic, and this after the collective group of All-Stars managed only one run yesterday. Bobby Abrboo attempted a bunt again; the GiamBALCO needs another dose of amphetamines; Damon needs new legs. Even if the Yankees win every game that Wang, Pettite, and Mussina pitch the rest of the season, they will only have 89 wins, which in all likelihood won't be enough to make the playoffs. And that is no easy task: the Yankees are only 2-4 in the big 3's last six starts. To get to 95 wins, the Yankees would have to play .650 ball the rest of the way.

Another Disaster in the Bronx

Well, anytime the New York Yankees of New York play the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim there is bound to be trouble. The game was a microcosm of the season to date: a (rookie) starter went only 4 innings, horrendous relief work by Luis I'm-No-Jose Vizcaino, Proctor pitched again (25 appearances in 46 games, and he was suspended for four of them), Damon imploded in center field, Jeter extended a hitting streak, and another A-BOMB from A-ROD. Damon allowed three balls to go over his head, and then dropped a blooper in front of him. At long last the "Bernie Williams" chants began at the Stadium. No word if ESPN is planning on covering Bernie's workouts at his home.

And really how long will it before the Tino Martinez and Paul O'Neill chants begin? Heck, given the way Will Nieves is hitting, a John Flaherty chant might be in order.

Also, as you undoubtedly know by now, the Rocket will not start in Toronto after all, but will instead take the traveling road show to Scranton. Given his last performance, I can't say I'm surprised. But it leaves another hole in the rotation for Tuesday. The options: bring back the Yankee Clippard on three days rest; try DeSalvo again even though he couldn't find the plate with a magnifying class tonight; send Carmen Sandiego looking for Kei Igawa; use The American Idle and hope he fully blows out his elbow (thus getting the most out of the Tommy John surgery) or take Mike I'm-Not-the-Comedian Myers up on his offer to start. OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS indeed.

Random Predictions Tally

Amazingly two of the members made accurate predictions in this ludicruous bet.

Sling (Seo gets win & limits Mariners to less than 1 HR): 1 point
Mao (C. Young gets 10Ks against the Cubs): 1 point
Cow (Marquis would give up 5 earned runs and 1 unearned run): 0 point

Random Prediction of the Day

Jason Marquis will give up 6 runs, 5 earned against San Diego.

Random Prediction of the Day Rules

1) $5 Goes to the one whose prediction comes true on each day until the last day of the regular baseball season (no playoffs)
2) Random Predictions must be made and published before the game that you are betting on has started
3) Predictions can be made on any sports or news event that you predict will happen during that day.
4) It must be a Prediction that is bold enough to the satisfactory of the other players.
5) Tallies will be kept on the blog.

P.S. Live Random Prediction Update: Sling getting killed with a 2-0 deficit in the bottom of the 1st inning.

SLING Random Prediction of the Day

Jae Seo will get a win and limit the Mariners to 1 home run or fewer.

Random Prediction of the Day

Chris Young will get 10K today against the Cubs.

Off Day Fun

The Alteregos were debating the top 10 Yankees of all time today. Personally, I think we should be debating the top 10 worst Yankees of the past few seasons. I wonder which list is harder to compile?

10. Tim Redding
9. Darryl May
8. Sean Henn (both as a starter and reliever)
7. Will Nieves
6. Sal Fasano
5. Tony Womack
4. Jaret Wright
3. Jeff Weaver
2. Kevin Brown
1. Carl Pavano

We are somewhat heavy on the pitchers (I wonder why?) and also on backup catchers. Pavano clearly wins the prize, even though Brown and Weaver had more damaging postseason meltdowns. Javy Vazquez gets a pass - why I'm not quite sure - but we might append him to #2 given they were a package deal in Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS. May and Redding were one-time-wonders, but were sufficiently putrid to make the cut. Even leaving the jokers aside, the Yankees' evaluation of pitching talent has been awful since Mussina signed before the 2001 season. Pavano, Wright, Johnson, Farnsworth, Vazquez, Weaver, Brown: Oh Cashman, we are seven!

Welcome to Olliewood

Mets nation is quickly becoming Olliewood, as Oliver I Jump Over White Lines Perez pitched another brilliant game against the Braves, now making him 3-0 against the Mets rivals for the 2007 season. This once 3-13, 6.55 ERA hurler is now 6-3, tied for the NL lead in wins, and most notably has a 53:18 strike outs to walk ratio. If one removed the one bad game, the cold, rainy and windy Phillies game where he walked 7 and couldnt get out of the 3rd inning, he would have an amazing 5:1 ratio of strikeouts to walks. If it wasnt for Jake Pet Peavy, Ollie would make a good claim for the early NL Cy Young winner.


Other tidbits: David the Price is Wright is on fire. Four home runs in 4 games and 3 intentional walks in between. Perhaps he should never grow his hair back. Reyes continues to get on base. Joe Smith and Wagner continue to blow hitters away. And Delgado actually got a couple of hits in the 6 spot... perhaps all the pieces are falling into place in a first place 13 games above .500 team. Now all they have to do is keep the Empire State Building orange and blue for the rest of the season and post season.


And now for the OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS 20/20 update:

Disney World Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez is slated to return to the Mets rotation on Friday against the Marlins after having no problems in recent bullpen sessions. Unfortunately, ESPN decided not to cover every pitch of El Duque's rehab like they have for all of Clemens' "spring training" starts. Certainly trick shot pool or food eating competitions must be more interesting than this circus. At the very least, they should show I Aint Jimmy Kei Igawa's Single A starts. Mr. I Wear My Sunglasses at Night, the richest player in Single A, would be the closest thing to comedy on ESPN since Stuart Dread Scott.

Farnsworthless Leads Us Off

This purpose of this blog is totally unclear, but we will try to make the most of it. It should be a mix of sports, current events, and other random things. Anyway, here it goes.

So the Yankee Dynasty (read: Joe Torre) survived for another day, despite the best efforts of Kyle Farnsworth. In case you missed it, Kyle Dial 911 entered the game in the 8th inning leading 7-1. He promptly surrended a homer to Coco I'm-Burnt-to-a Crisp (Coco's first of the season), then walked Manny Ortez's bigger half. Typical stuff from the Yankee reliever. But then the clown show really began. Given the five run lead, Doug Me-i-stink-o-witz was playing behind Ortiz, which Kyle apparently failed to see despite wearing his Wild Thing glasses, as he faked a throw to first base. The rulebook says that's a balk. Anyone dumb enough to have this idiot on their fantasy baseball team deserves to take the hit that comes with leading the league in balks. If only he would take a permanent vacation, rather than criticize others for taking time off.

Other tidbits: Bobby "Sweet as Candy" Abreu looks like he is on some serious candy. In addition to his recent bunt attempts (including yesterday with no baserunners and two outs), he missed a line drive right at him tonight --- apparently losing it in the lights. Maybe he needs whatever the GiamBALCO was taking to wake him up. Jeter passed Joe-D on the all time Yankee-hit list, while Carl Pavano won't be passing pitchers in wins any time soon. The American Idle is rapidly closing in on Kerry Wood and Mark Prior for the King of the DL distinction, however.

And now for the OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS 20/20 update: Clemens managed to throw 102 pitches to get through 5.1 IP in Double AA. The Baseball Tonight crowd suggested that since Clemens was pitching against the Red Sox affiliate, Theo Epstein (or someone else in the Red Sox organization) sent the word out to the minor leaguers to take a lot of pitches so as to wear out the Rocket. Unclear if Theo was pleased that Wily Mo Pena started in place of JD (Aren't-the-Dodgers-Glad-I-Opted-Out) Drew in the big league game. Well, at least the Yanks only spent $40 million on Pavano - uh, excuse me, $39.95 million - while JD stands to collect $70 million.